Neat Nonsense

stories to inspire you

We’re too different

Have you ever been dating someone and got to hear: It’s not working, we’re too different?

This happened to me with the last person I was dating and it got me thinking. Although I acknowledge we are different in some ways, it didn’t bother me. The similarities were outweighing them and I didn’t see any obstacles so large we couldn’t overcome them. There are matters so important in someone’s life, you know it’s gonna be a difficult difference to overcome, like religion can be. This happened to a friend of mine. Her new boyfriend is an awesome guy, but strictly religious. She is not. What will happen when they stay together and start a family? How will they raise their children? Is this something to think about now, in the beginning of the relationship or do you just keep the faith that when two people love each other enough they will find a way to make this work?

No, the biggest contrast between me and my former date was that I actually embrace the dissimilarities. When I look at my friends, none of them actually look a lot like me in the way they are thinking and behaving. I enjoy that. Those differences cast a challenge upon the relationship for you to make an effort, in understanding the other person better. It inspires the mind to try and think differently than before. It might make you try new hobbies and undertake journeys, you normally wouldn’t have thought about doing. It makes the relationship more interesting. Life would be boring if we would all think the same.

But when you’re not open to those differences and not willing to handle them flexibilitly, you are right. Then we are too different and a relationship won’t work.

Have you ever been dating someone and got to hear: It’s not working, we’re too different?

This happened to me with the last person I was dating and it got me thinking. Although I acknowledge we are different in some ways, it didn’t bother me. The similarities were outweighing them and I didn’t see any obstacles so large we couldn’t overcome them. There are matters so important in someone’s life, you know it’s gonna be a difficult difference to overcome, like religion can be. A friend of mine is challenged with this. Her new boyfriend is an awesome guy, but strictly religious. She is not. What will happen when they stay together and start a family? How will they raise their children? Is this something to think about now, in the beginning of the relationship or do you just keep the faith that when two people love each other enough they will find a way to make this work?

No, the biggest contrast between me and my former date was that I actually embrace the dissimilarities. When I look at my friends, none of them actually look a lot like me in the way they are thinking and behaving. I enjoy that. Those differences cast a challenge upon the relationship for you to make an effort in understanding the other person better. It inspires the mind to try and think differently than before. It might make you try new hobbies and undertake journeys, you normally wouldn’t have thought about doing. It makes the relationship more interesting.

But when you’re not open to those differences and not willing to handle them flexibly, you are right. Then we are too different and a relationship won’t work.

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