Neat Nonsense

stories to inspire you

Fighting to understand

I’m really trying to understand where you’re coming from, so will you shut up and let me think. Stop firing those accusations at me, without trying to see where I’m coming from. A discussion is not a game you have to win. There is no grand prize waiting for you, when you prove yourself right and can say: “I’m not the one who’s wrong here.” Give me some time to let things sink in.

Breathe.

Pause.

Lets try to understand.

How come I’m disappointed while you didn’t mean to disappoint me? How come you say you can’t ever do something right in my eyes, and I seem to think the worst of you like you’re a bad person? What makes you use words like always and never? I ‘always’ make you feel bad, you can ‘never’ do anything right. When in fact in 90% or maybe even 95% of the time we are together, we are having fun. A lot of fun with lots of laughs.

Things don’t always have to be bright and happy. It’s part of the human emotions to feel sad, angry or even scared. I remember the time that we discussed this. You told me how important it is to you to share all emotions, the good and the bad. I agreed. It is nice to do so. Because when you do, and let the other person speak or explain things it takes away assumptions. You don’t have to guess what is going on in the other’s mind. But we both have to be willing. We both need to feel the other person is worth our time.

So let us talk. Don’t deny me my feelings. Don’t make me the one who is being unreasonable. Don’t say I’m annoying for sharing out loud how I feel. Let’s not fight about it, unless we are fighting to understand each other.

I’m really trying to understand where you’re coming from, so will you shut up and let me think. Stop firing those accusations at me, without trying to see where I’m coming from. A discussion is not a game you have to win. There is no grand prize waiting for you, when you prove yourself right and can say: I’m not the one who’s wrong here. Give me some time to let things sink in.

Breathe.

Pause.

Lets try to understand.

How come I’m disappointed while you didn’t mean to disappoint me? How come you say you can’t ever do something right in my eyes, like you’re a bad person? What makes you use words like always and never? I ‘always’ make you feel bad, you can ‘never’ do anything right. When in fact in 90% or maybe even 95% of the time we are together, we are having fun. A lot of fun with lots of laughs.

Things don’t always have to be bright and happy. It’s part of the human emotions to feel sad, angry or even scared. I remember the time that we discussed this. You told me how important it is to you to share all emotions, the good and the bad. I agreed. It is nice to do so. Because when you do, and let the other person speak or explain things it takes away assumptions. You don’t have to guess what is going on in the other’s mind. But we both have to be willing. We both need to feel the other person is worth our time.

So let us talk. Don’t deny me my feelings. Don’t make me the one who is being unreasonable. Don’t say I’m annoying for sharing out loud how I feel. Let’s not fight about it, unless we are fighting to understand each other.

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